Seb at The World Triathlon Championships in 2000

I had to visit the new private hospital in Galway recently and saw there a quote painted on the wall that I can’t now quite remember accurately. It was something like, ”Good Health is a Crown, Worn by the Healthy and Only Visible to Those Who Are Sick” . I’m sure that’s not quite right but I think I have the gist of it. Having been injured and ill quite a bit myself over the last twelve months the quote made a lot of sense to me. As runners, when we are at our most powerful, our most fit, we tend to take our good fortune for granted and believe that we will always be so lucky. It’s often only with a bag of ice strapped to an aching leg that we realise that this was tending towards the optimistic.

One of our own members Seb Locteau has struggled quite a bit with a serious back problem over the last few years. Seb, as many people will know, is a superb athlete and in particular a brilliant triathlete. His achievements on the sporting field and in the professional management of athletics are far too numerous to list here but suffice it to say that he has both competed and coached to the highest level possible, having represented his native France as an athlete on the international stage and subsequently coached a national team at the Olympic Games in Athens.

Like all natural sportsmen Seb has found it difficult to cope with being unable to take a full part in sporting activities as his back problem has worsened. In recent times his condition has deteriorated to the point that he spends a lot of his time in a wheelchair in order to take the strain off his back while he awaits the surgery that will hopefully take place over the next month or so. The surgery will be risky and even the surgeons are unsure as to how well he will recover afterwards. It is in this light that Seb wrote down a few of his thoughts about how he has managed all of these issues in his life over the last few years. With Seb’s permission, here’s how he describes the process of trying to cope with this hugely difficult process. Obviously, we wish Seb all the best of Athenry luck over the next few months as he works he way through the surgery and back, hopefully, to full fitness.

NB. As many people will know English is not Seb’s first language and I haven’t tried to change his own unique way with words. I think you’ll agree he makes his points very well.

Running in My Head!

“I decided to share my experienced with you again. I stop running on the 20th of August 2006 at 5pm after my Ironman, thinking there was definitely something wrong with me. My longest marathon over 5h25 running, in which I could have ran nearly 2 marathon in 2001. I finally realised and accepted that my injury will not go away, after a couple of years of suffering and limping with my left leg. The feeling of “it is going to go away “was gone. In September 2006 I remembered my falls because my left leg could not support me anymore. It really meant my own spiritual fall which fell for good. I started to realised that a real mechanical problem was there, burning my left leg like iron burns but this time from my bomb to my toes. Everyday since, this electrical burn along my leg became days and nights part of me, of a ritual feeling which seems to never settle. I am looking at all my friends running their races, writing their reports, which like a kid make me dream about doing sport again. From doing a generous 25 hours a week to doing nothing today, my body change and with over 15kg overweight my head still believes that I will run again. I went to a medical conference today, where surgeons try to explain and debate what is going to happen to me, should they take off one or two discs, what kind of screws they will use etc…. which after a year and an half of suffering sound like a maybe ending to my daily pain. How am I going to be able to live without pain? I don’t remember what pain free is for so long now!

Every morning I check my toes to see if they move, sometimes they don’t, and most of the times I have no feeling on my left leg, like if it was dead. I wake up so far and wonder if one day it will not wakes. I remember then the pain I got while running a sub 3h marathon, I don’t believe I complained about it, I should have enjoyed it. Celebrating my legs being alive, being able even to walk stand up like a man because today I am in a wheelchair, people look down at me and their eyes run away, poor Seb they say, I used to say that to other people. But you will never be able to understand until you are sitting on it and wheel it on those stupid ramps made by bipeds. I tried to fight my emotions, not letting myself get depressed, I was a winner, still am and will be. But being on the wheelchair will never give your legs back, and is certainly not made to keep up your social life. Wheelchair does not fit between pubs and shops doors and if people have to make an effort to open their doors, every body is staring at you…..fantastic. And I won’t explain how my hands get cuts and bruise between those really well made doors made by BIPEDS.

The surgeon said that it will take a long time before I can start doing any training again, minimum four months. He also said that as I lost lots of the power on my left leg (I can’t push the little blocks belonging to my two year old daughter with my leg), and that it might never come back the way it was. But you know what, I will come back running; maybe not as good as I use to be physically, but certainly much better and stronger mentally than I used to be.

I missed being part of my favourite race, the Connemarathon which has something special, Ray might say it is his race, when I think this race is owned by the people’s memory. I miss being part of the Athenry AC team getting a medal with them, running cross country race in the muck with standard slipping shoes. I also miss getting phone calls rushing me for a race which I thought was the following day and of course making Mick getting cross because I sprint the first 200m of a race always catching me like in the first year of Connemara. So much craic in my head with the lads in Saint Stephen’s day. So what ever happen to you runners…..keep those memory alive, to make our sport alive.

Well to finish this wee article :-)

There is something who still running, and that’s my head!”